spiraling butterflies

Exams

2006-09-24T18:29:00.000+08:00

well, I'm done with my exams for now!

I received the results on Friday, and it seems that I have gotten into Keio University (which was my first choice for the Private Unis).
I still can't believe it 100%.
Although I may still try the national unis...
I'm not sure yet.

The exam (which was an interview and an essay) was absolutely HORRID, and I messed it up really badly. So naturally I thought I failed it... :)
well well, I'm glad its over!!!
WHEEEE!!!

I think I'll relax and go shopping and watch movies and go sing in KTV and maybe go to Disneyland and all for a while, then start working sometime next month.

I wonder how all of you are...

Azusa

Ages...!

2006-08-25T20:46:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since I last wrote in this, yet again...

Sorry...

I've been sort of down lately due to many things, but today I was really happy because I found this big bookstore near my house with loads of good books...

Anyways,

Its so sad because I can't even think up of anything to write, because there aren't many things that we can share. The only thing that I can say is that Mio is leaving for the states on the 30th and that i will probably talk to her on Monday.

Anything else?

Hmmm...

My entrance exams start in about 3 weeks, and I'm starting to feel a bit worried. ARRGGHH.
I wish they'll all be over and it will be February now and I will have gotten in to Tokyo Uni, or something like that, though of course I know its impossible (duh).

I've added another meaningless entry to my blog!!!! NOOOO!!!

Well well, i will try next time!

FINALLY...

2006-08-06T10:34:00.000+08:00

Gah, I can't believe this took so long!!!!

I'm FINALLY back online, so I will be on msn and stuff from time to time from now on... yay!
I say time to time because the computer is not longer in my room but in the dining room, and now I can't "do my homework" (while spending, like, 90% of the time doing other stuff). Sucks...

It's actually been so long since I wrote in my blog that I've kind of forgotten how I usually wrote these articles. So now I'm just blabbing on...

Even though I was really really depressed when I last wrote in this, life in Japan wasn't all that bad, and I actually have quite a lot of friends now from the prep school thing that I have to go to. Actually, it was REALLY fun to start with, but now that our university entrance exams are near (along with some relationship problems... urgh) its calmed down slightly, and we've actually started studying afterschool together and stuff. Well, "studying" together more like... since we mostly talk ;)

It's wierd because a lot of ppl seem to be leaving for their university soon, and I'm already in Japan. And on the other hand, I'm still writing application forms and so on... I sent my first application thing to my second choice uni a few days ago, but it was really hectic and I finally understood how it was for everyone else during that 'sending applications' period (while I was calmly watching everyone panick). Actually, I have more of those stupid things to do.... URGH. The bad part is that each uni has their own forms and things like that and they need to be handed in at different times. Like, Tokyo University is AGES later, the forms aren't even available yet.

I've talked about useles things enough now, I'll probably get back into the rhythm of writing these things soon, bear with me!!!

THE GRAD

2006-05-25T12:34:00.000+08:00

... I would really like to say that it was awesome, but for me it was on the level of "well, it was okay". There were many fun moments, but the fact that i had to wait something like 30 mins outside to get into the afterparty kind of screwed things up, together with some more minor stuff. Apart from that...

The grad itself was okay, but it felt sort of rushed. Just me? I stood up at the stage but I didn't feel anything important, its like how I was quite unemotional about my exams finishing. So I just kind of stood there and laughed together with the crowd that Ralph's last name was ve-ry long. Which felt like I was being laughed at... ;) The good part was that the sports hall actually looked quite nice, and wasn't too hot or too cold, which happens a lot in our school.

Then the dinner. I sat with Mio and her parents, which in itself was quite cool. Took pictures with lots of friends, got a hug attack from Dom, and said some emotional goodbyes to some of my friends who I won't be able to see before going back to Japan. Like Jas. The uncool bit was the fact that the food finished so fast and that I actually never ate desert for some reason. (well, i guess in this was it keeps me from getting fat?!) I left early for some reason.... right, to get changed. Then I went to the afterparty.

Afterparty was so much fun, but I couldn't get inside for ages, I got do mad. After I got in it was cool... mostly. Dancing was fun, so I did that a lot, and the music was quite good ( i think). Well, at least I enjoyed myself the most there. The only thing was that I couldn't talk to anyone properly because of the loudness of the music (well i guess you can't have everything right... one or another ^^) It was a good job I changed because I got a drink spilt on me, I would've cried (seriously) if my beautiful white dress got ruined. Haha. I was amazed at the number of ppl who were hooking up... and smothering each other's faces... like, on the last day that they may possibly see each other. And plz ppl, don't drink til you have to make it come back out. Please.

I got quite emotional by the end when I realized how many ppl I won't ever see again, and when I realized that I hadn't told many ppl that I was leaving for good really soon. I don;t have pics with so many of the ppl I wnated to get them with. At least, I wanted to say proper goodbyes, which I didn't really succeed in either...I got home all depressed and gloomy, and though its slowly wearing out, I'm still not quite in my happy mode. Its sad, since I got close to so many ppl who I wasn't so close with towards the end of the year, and now I'm suddenly leaving to a country in which I have about 5 or 6 friends who are within meetable distance. I wish i had the time to go meet everyone, it sucks that I have to go so early, it also sucks that i can't even use the days I have left to do whatever I want becuase of packing and going to places to say goodbye and stuff. Urgh!!!!!! Hopefully, entering a new environment will not be too much of a shock, since although I've had many ppl leave me, I've never left everyone at once. Although its not so bad since most ppl are leaving sooner or later to go to uni outside of Spore, since i would have had to say my goodbyes anyways, i guess. Hopefully, all the busy-ness that arises out of my moving will make me numb towards all this parting and everything, and actually have a positive effect on me. (In case I've worriedyou greatly, I'm okay, I'm not really THAT depressed, just kind of sad. Just not as cheery as usual.)

Oh yeah, my photos are uploaded onto my webshots, click here >>>>>>>>>http://community.webshots.com/user/Anana88 .

Have fun viewing me with my teddy bear collection (though there are more already sent to Jpn). And if you have any photos with me, plz e-mail me or drop me an address where I can get them off, here or by e-mail.

I had a birthday dinner with a small group of ppl as well, those pics will be uploaded soon onto the same webshots thingie or else they will be uploaded after I get internet access in Japan, which will probably take a few weeks after I arrive. Patience plz. (Thanks Swati for remembering, but Mio, I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT... you amused my mom some... )

And this will most very probably be the last blog entry from Singapore!!!!
Let me just say that my years (my pronouciation: ears) in Singapore had been wonderful (despite not really knowing any other...haha), I really enjoyed being around my friends. I will miss you all very much in my immediate few weeks after I go back, for sure, and I am very certain that I will think about you for years to come. The fact that I'm sad to leave proves how good my times were, I think. Anyways, best of luck to anyone who is reading this and has been patient enough to read this very very long entry, which I wrote over a span of a few days. I'm still going to keep this blog going (at least, I'm planning to at this stage), so drop in once in a while to see how I am doing, and keep me updated with all your interesting lives in uni or elsewhere too. Well, hopefully interesting... ;)

i would really have liked to write down some last words of wisdom, something marvelously creative and inspirational that will wrap up my years in Singapore and leave a very positive impression of me, but I don't have any time left now and I can't think of any currently(no, its not that I'm dumb, REALLY). So I won't- instead let me wish you good luck, again.

i don't want to end this entry yet but I think its getting way too long, I think I should.

And I will.

(P.S. I don't think I'll say goodbye here since I'm still going to keep this going, right?)

WHAT??!!!

2006-05-23T21:48:00.000+08:00

Are you serious?! You mean my exams are really over?! No way!!!!!!

... is me right now. Its still not really getting through my head. I must be beacuse...
1) I am really stupid and dumb
2) I never took exams seriously in the first place
3) I am mistaken- exams are actually still on, Azusa, wake up!!!

I think its 2. I'm quite certain that everyone else agreed that the exams were over, and I really hope that I'm not thick-skulled.... I never concentrate at the right times, like I'll have spurs of revision-eagerness while I'm on the bus and stuff, in which I can't do anything because if I do, I'll feel sick. Or maybe I feel that way because I know I won't be able to study? Whatever...

Well....

It was my last exam today, that stupid Japanese exam. But it was actually kind of cool because we had exams with all the self-taught ppl, so many different languages!!! Yeah, it actually re-occured to me that our school really is an international school. It was quite interesting.

Anyways....

After I finished, I wobbled home dragging my foot (due to my blister which I so clevery got yesterday, 2 days before I have to wear 10cm heels in grad), and went to get my nails done. Quite simple, but very nice. I meant to upload a pic but it didn't turn out. With flash, everything looks white. No flash, everything goes blurred. Plz actually look at them tomorrow, or I'll feel like a fool... O_o

I am so very so high because I'm so excited about tomorrow, that I will see everyone in their gorgeous dresses and hairs and jewelry and all that, and that it will actually be my first graduation from any type of school after my indergarten graduation. So sad I actually have to go to school on Thursday (actually, not sad, but...pathetic. Really)
My nails are pretty and my dress is pretty and I love my shoes so very so much and my hair, hopefully, will be pwetty too. Uwaaagghh!!! why is it not tomorrow yet...

Revision

2006-05-17T18:55:00.000+08:00

... is going nowhere. Actually, my Japanese revision even hasn't started yet, I should sometime soon considering its only 5 days away! (Although Azusa will most probably continue to say this for another 3 days before anything productive actually occurs.)

Today I met up with Swati and took neoprints, which was cool, it was a change. But after that we just kinda walked around eating ice cream (which Swati did quite badly on, I must say^^. Eat a bit faster, then you won't have it all over your hand!!!), and didn't do much else. So it was fun but we got sort of bored after a while, we couldn't decide on what to do and despite hunting around for people in our school we couldn't find any. Damn. We don't bite...!!!

Today I woke up and it was already 11, I had to leave the house at 12 to get there in time and I was just not bothered to rush! Tomorrow, if I get up early enough, I'll go to school during lunch to return my books. If you see me there, say hi to me ;)

Pics...FINALLY

2006-05-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

Well, althought my computer has not yet recovered its memory, I actually had the pics from leaveres week on my laptop as well (just couldn't be bothered to transfer it...) so I figured that it was about time and I transfered them onto the desktop I am using now to write this, and uploaded all my pics from leavers week onto Webshots. (very, very long sentence) So the address is...

http://community.webshots.com/user/Anana88

Its obviously under 'leaver's week 2006', its the only thing I have so far.
It will most likely be the only thing there forever also, since i can't think of many occasions in which I will have that many photos to upload.

By the way, I went to get my hair cut today. My hairdresser ironed my hair for me so it is mega straight now (it will go back to its normal curliness when i next wash my hair). Like this...

Its been something like 4 years since I got my hair straightened like that, it feels so wierd.

By the way, I will have roses in my hair on grad! Woo, so cool!!! v(^_^)v

Brighten up

2006-05-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

As I said on my previous entry, this blog is getting kind of boring, I wonder why ppl are still hanging there with me ;) Seriously.

To brighten things up a bit (and to make sure that I don't lose all of you so that I'll be writing to myself, which is TOO dull), I drew this pic in like, 30 mins or so, hoping to catch the interest of some of you...
Its not great but I think its ok. Self praise ^^;

I'm quite pleased, I think when I find the time I will make it smaller and make it my icon for my profile, unless I draw something else or find something which is more appealing.

DanCe dAnCe DaNcE!!!

From: http://www8.plala.or.jp/kaomoji/

Frequently used words.

2006-05-14T19:47:00.000+08:00

For the past couple of days, I'm updating once every day.
Don't worry, it won't go on for long ^^;
I never last.

A list of frequently used words by me/azusasuza/whatever when writing:

Actually
In fact
perhaps
however
yet
blab/blabbing
whatever
O well
Tough (luck).

Same list when speaking:

like
apparently
whatever
yeah
cool
really?

Etc etc etc.
I was thinking while I was showering (strange) and decided to put it up for no reason. Random streak of randomness.

I wish this blog were more interesting, if not meaningful.
Which will never happen.

After exams (well, not really)

2006-05-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

Considering how I still have one exam left, I have not really finished, but also considering how that is for a slack subject (for me) and considering that it is over a week later, I decided that I could safely take a few days off my 'being a student''' career (?). In other words, I spent the day doing nothing, or more like, going on a shopping spree for stress relief, especially since yesterday i felt sort of, well, emotionally unstable-ish? Today, worn out, feet hurting and all, I feel quite refreshed. I spent a fortune buying a new wallet though, since it was at half price and I figured that it is a waste to change my Sing dollars to Jap yen, I may as well spend it off. nice logic.

Some of the more observant ppl who look at this blog may notice that the thing below the title of the the blog has changed to a quote from a book (It used to say, "azusasuza's blog"). The quote doesn't mean much to me, but I like the sounding of it. I think, until I find something better to do with that space, I will continue putting up random quotes when I feel like it. That's a quote from one of my English texts becuase there was something about English in Sheila's blog which reminded me. Actually, the first quote I thought of was a quote from Beloved but I felt that it kind of didn't make sense when read on its own. Instead I wrote a poem which was 'inspired' but it. I won't put it up.

The only time I write is when I look at someone else's work and wish that i could do the same, or when I randomly think of a nice phrase (80% of the time in bed daydreaming or in my sleep) that makes me write. The downside to this is that most of whatever I think of gets 'made' while I'm still in a dreary state (most of the times, while I'm still lying down) inside my head and never gets written, and due to my half-conciousness I can never recall anymore than a few lines of it. But I never learn.

I just realised that I always end my paragraphs with these short sentences/phrases. I just thought about outwitting (?) myself and changing that, but I quite like how it sounds, so it will probably continue to be that way. No guarantees though.

I have digressed quite a bit, but then again I can't even tell what the original topic was, it doesn't really matter. I think I could probably keep this up for another 10 minutes but because there will be nothing meaningful that comes out of the tired brain of mine, as can be seen, and becuase this entry has already gotten quite long, I will end here.
Good night, and good luck.

Another

2006-05-13T00:57:00.000+08:00

Yes, this is another entry written in the span of like, 10 minutes from the last one. Well, not really.

i just wanted to say that I hope everyone will do well in their exams and their unis and will live happily and all that shit. I mean, I know life is not like that, I'm not that dumb, but I still hope so anyways.

I'm sure no one understands this blab I'm going on about. Which is okay. I wanted to say this to somebody but I know I won't be able to, so i felt like writing it down. In other words, its for my own satisfication. It doesn't need to be understood. Actually, I don't even know if it needs to be read.

O well, I really do mean that I wish everyone success anyways! So it doesn't matter! Hah!
And if you do, remember to treat me to a really nice dinner!!
Or even better, buy me a car, then I will love you forever. Tehe.
I think exams and leaving Singapore and all has made me slightly setimental, I'll be back to my normal self within minutes, rest assured. if you did bother to read up til here, thanks, wow, ignore me, forget what I was blabbing on about and you are really patient.
well done.

I'm back.

2006-05-13T00:18:00.000+08:00

For those of you who had been wondering what was up with my blog, I was completely cut off from the online world for a week after my computer broke down about 2 weeks ago. after that, my exams got hectic and I was in no mood to turn on the computer. So here I am.

The pictures for the rest will have to wait because when my computer failed on me I had to replace the hard drive. The memory is still on an external hard drive, thus I have no pictures, no music, no data whatsoever on this computer at the moment. Too bad!

I'm so glad that my exams are almost over, I have over a week before my next one and I'm going to slack off!!! And pig out!(<>

Singapore had never really felt that intimate for me despite living here for so long, but now that i'm leaving i feel kind of... nostalgic? Not exactly lonely, but i think that when i do go back i will miss it. Especially the local food, and the fact that to go from one end of the country to another takes less than an hour. I will absolitely DIE in japan going to uni, or wherever, having to take the train for so long. Urgh.

Well, to anyone who is reading this- good luck in your exams, if you still have them. If not, I HATE YOU.... hehe.
Lucky you.(why do i keep on talking to ppl on my blog as if its a letter/ e-mail?)

I think some time or another I should start writing more meaningful things on this blog, or else it will be just a load of rubbish on the net. On the other hand, I don't care. I think, therefore, that this will probably stay as it is. Tough luck.

oops

2006-04-25T03:38:00.000+08:00

gee, I really have to upload my pics.
Maybe I will follow Swati's advice+ what Laurane did and upload them onto webshots, it is probably easier...

I still don't feel like it today, maybe I'll do them tomorrow (MAYBE)

Sorry if I'm keeping anyone waiting! Too bad!!!

Anyways, I was home alone for the past few days which made me go mad talking to myself (since revision stranded me in the house), but I'm feeling slightly better now since I went out for the whole day today (revising with Swati=just talking, no work done^^;) and since my mom came back. Phew.

revision is going at a snail's pace, or maybe that is too insulting for snails. In other words, I'm dead. And I'm wasting time writing this!!!!

But its good stress relief.
My policy- do what I feel like doing.

I think I'll go to sleep now.... yawn.....

LAST (for today)

2006-04-20T21:23:00.000+08:00

Last batch for ROCKSTAR day. Many photos, though there were still a few I didn't upload... but then if I do them all it will be rreeeaaallyy long so whatever. If there's anything I you know I left out that you want, anyone out there, just tell me, I'll e-mail it instead.

The Great Greta and Me.

I think they are supposed to be the "Village Men", or was it something to do with fishermen?
I keep forgetting the name.
Oh, its Village Men+ Greenday vocalist. Forgot name temporarily.

Emiko and Mio, in Japanese.

Me and Mio.

Yay! O've done with the first day, at least its something over. I was planning to do them all today but now I'm kind of not in the mood anymore. Too tiring+ too tiried already lah! Sorry!

(BTW, Mio, the last two photos were put up due to your request, so plz actually take them!)

And More...

2006-04-20T21:11:00.000+08:00

Third batch of rockstar day photos. I know its a pain, sorry, but its so much faster for me this way. Or maybe I just can't use the program properly yet...?

Sheila looking cool. Me next to her looking slightly spaced out...

Hannah in English class.
Eating brownies. Yum.

Jess's outfitwas very classy.

My English class minus me and Hannah (we were taking photos) and the people who didn't show up, I can't remember who.

More...

2006-04-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

I'm using a program to do the uploading, seems like I can only put a few at a time?

Personally, I thought Jas's outfit was the coolest...
I LOVED her hair... and her socks.

Me and Sash. Gosh, I look so pale, its a bit disgusting!

Mio and Swati, such contrasiting colors!
I also loved Mio's outfit, although I'd never seen her in a miniskirt before, it suits her well.

Me and Jas.
(Why is my thumb bent? I really dunno.)

So...

2006-04-20T19:43:00.000+08:00

Here are some photos from leavers week. First of all, Rockstar day.

My first photo is form my TG, Swati with her wierd makeup that kinda freaked me out on the driveway, with Sharf looking cool.

Explanation: Mr. Hunt loved Yiftu's huge hair so much that he wanted to see how he would look with her hair= he stuck his head in her hair and got photographed.

Laurane, Yoon Jung and me. Not much to say...

After my photo with Laurane, I was hauled off into this picture, so now here is the photo of me and the people from the table at the end. (Erm, why do I always hunch in photos??-_-;)

Leavers

2006-04-20T05:13:00.000+08:00

Leavers week was so much fun!!!

Can't believe we've had the last day of an actual school day already, it felt like ages to go.
Actually, it still does ^^;
Though I kept saying that I never really liked UWC, it still feels a bit lonely... all this time... Plus, I won't see everyone that much after this... sob!

But enough on my sentimental blabber, i just wrote this to say that i will upload some photos probably tomorrow.

Good luck everyone!

>Laurane
I meant that my font color keeps changing. Though it really is't that noticable.

Hmmm....

2006-04-17T19:37:00.002+08:00

I forgot to tell everybody about my blog today, woops.

Anyhow, I change plans as to what i will be tomorrow, though I originally wanted to be a Ancient Roman and bought cloth and stuff, I can't get it 'right', and it doesn't work as anything else either. Which is a pain, but whatever, now I don't feel so in to it. It looks dumb.

I think I'll be an English gentleman from a few decades back or maybe one of the evil 'capitalists' described in '1984'? Though really, they are the same thing ;)

I actually tried being a pirate too which was ok but I really like the suit I am going to wear so stuff it. Whatever! Its only leavers week...

Excited about how everyone will look....

(Currently experimenting with different font colors... bear with me for a while)

Hello to the world

2006-04-17T04:56:00.000+08:00

Hey,

First english blog ever. Though I have written blogs before, they had always been in Japanese and a kind of hidden identity kind of thing. Kindof kindof kindof. Must add to my can't use word list, together with 'like'...

Its such a wierd time, I'm up becuase I'm supposed to do my Japanese commentary and I end up opening a blog... yes, I do realise I'm acting a bit strange for my usual always gets hw done personality(- or am I?), but hey, this is the last week of school, i feel a bit slack right now and I'm so excited about leavers week and this sentence is too long... ack, I should really just go to sleep.

btw, the blog name comes from a school band from my old school, some many years back. Pretty, isn't it? I actaully wanted 'bluebird' because there is a Japanese song with that title and I really like it... some stupid person took it before me and they wouldn't let me. Such bullies!!

Such a bad opening but whatever. I'll do better next time, well, at least I'll try. No promises made.